I have had it with the lack of mother****ing Sam Jackson on my mother****ing iPhone! Heatwave, rather than get eaten by a giant shark, has decided to release iSamJackson for the iPhone and iPod touch. Is it a ‘game’? Hell no! You could never hope to beat Samuel L. Jackson! You know Mace Windu survived getting pushed out of that window. According to the developer (because you know they wouldn’t lie when it comes to Sam Jackson, because if they did, then they would deserve to die, and I hope they’d burn in hell!)

iSamJackson is an entertaining soundboard app that contains a gigantic collection of original and authentic recorded quotes, humorous adages and sage insight all provided by Samuel L. Jackson. Users can fully customize the soundboard as well as access a personality scanner where Mr. Jackson himself will tell you just what he thinks you’re made of.  In addition, users desperate to cast their eyes into the future and receive Mr. Jackson’s guidance can call on “Ask Sam,” the feature that allows them to seek instantaneous advice from the king of cool.

Mmm, that is a tasty description. iSamJackson will be available in the coming months. Sadly, if you live in What, the app will not be available there, because What ain’t no country I’ve ever heard of.